A Malaysian Engagement

The KamarudinS made a special trip to Malaysia to help celebrate an Engagement.

Steve’s half-sister Irene was getting engaged to Azlan.

Now, it wasn’t the usual gathering of family and friends, it was a traditional Malaysian Engagement.

The word ‘party’ was not used anywhere. That’s not to say it wasn’t a happy occasion. It’s just that things were done slightly differently.

Firstly, it was held during the day at a local restaurant. The event was by invitation only and included direct family of the couple and close friends of the bride-to-be.

There was a special area at the front of the room with a large mat, a table laden with offerings, a special seat and lovely backdrop.

The second thing was the groom-to-be was not involved in the activity of the morning at all. Yep, you heard me. We didn’t hear hide or hair of him.

Apparently this is quite normal for a traditional Malay Engagement. I felt sorry for Azlan, that he was missing out.

In fact he was there, because he dropped off his family members, however he wasn’t involved at all. He didn’t step on the mat, he didn’t look at Irene, his name wasn’t mentioned.

When I asked him about it he said his turn or his day would come – it would be the Groom’s Wedding Celebration.

Formalities of a traditional Malay Engagement

The formal part of the morning involved a formal chosen representative of each family sitting on the mat area at the front and negotiating the dowry. It was pretty much finalised beforehand but for those who gathered it was a bit of fun, humour, poetry and haggling.

Settlement was made and the mother-in-law-to-be was then invited to the mat area to present Irene with rings.

They sat on the special seat with the pretty background and the older lady presented Irene with two rings – one gold to represent the courtship that went on the right hand. The second ring of silver, placed on the left hand represented the engagement of the couple.

Photos, photos, photos

Then the different layers of family members were invited on to the mat to have photographs taken.

We had some lovely shots with Irene, her mum Aliah, Steve’s brother Paul and sister-in-law Leanne.

Steve and Paul also had some nice photos with just Irene. She was very happy to have two of her three brothers there for her engagement. Then there were photos with cousins and Auntie’s.